Fire and Beauty

How Can A Cell Phone With Emergency Response System Keep You Safe

2011-06-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

How Can A Cell Phone With Emergency Response System Keep You Safe

Good Morning Lord!

2010-11-10T22:52:00.000-08:00

Each day is a busy day for the previous months. From the time I have come to my senses when I wake up in the morning, my initial thoughts are the content of my things-to-do list. I’m always racing with time to accomplish everything that I need to accomplish. Every single second is too substantial to be put to waste.

Because of my usually packed day, I have always been anticipating for the time when I can hit the sack at night and freely slumber. However, my strong anticipation for a complete rest in the night time made me forget the best thing I love in a day—to greet God with a happy “good morning” after I’ve slid the window’s curtain to welcome the sun rays in the bedroom and meet Him there before I proceed to my other affairs.

I’m not living in an extravagant place. The surrounding of our house is not even too spectacular when I look out the window. But the sight of the clear blue sky, which I can see without any obstruction from our bedroom’s window, covers all the imperfections. The feel of the strong sun rays to my skin in the morning is giving me a different delight as well. These are all because I feel like I’m meeting God face-to-face in that scenario. My desk, which is situated next to the bedroom’s window, complete my morning moment with God. There, I can meditate on the Word of God while enjoying His presence and the strong sun rays that penetrate through the window.

I’m still busy now but I miss my encounter with God in that scenario so badly. I know, this is what God wants me to do as well. So now I’ve decided to re-establish my discipline, rearrange my time and activities, and return my wonderful morning moment with God.

Simon Birch: A Small Boy With A Sizeable Faith

2010-04-24T07:48:00.001-07:00

“Things will be different once God makes me a hero.” This is the usual line of Simon Birch, a very small child that was born when his mother sneezed while in the birthing area of a hospital. Simon has a strong faith in God and he always believes that God created him in the way that he is for a special reason, a heroic purpose.

Simon Birch is a film inspired by one of the moving novels of John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany. It has showcased the sweeping revision of a respected writer and first-time director, Mark Steven Johnson. The story explored the themes of family, friendship, and faith with a humanistic touch and keen eye. Johnson proved through this movie that a neophyte director can also create a profound and witty film that can powerfully move the audience.

The setting of the story is in Gravestown, N.H., a tiny town in New England where the two outcast boys shared an uplifting story of friendship—Simon and Joe Wenteworth. Simon who looks much smaller as compared to other children in town is being ignored by his own parents and ridiculed by his fellow kids who can easily pass him around like a doll. Meanwhile, Joe is an illegitimate son and is being branded as a “bastard” even by adults. Together, they ventured out on a journey of friendship and trust to find the answers to so many things.

The movie features a lot of touching scenes such as the deep appreciation of Simon to the mother of Joe, Rebecca, who unselfishly made him experience the affection of a parent. The two boys had shared a lot of fun together in the story, too. There are several funny scenes that can make the viewers laugh out loud such as the miscast Christmas play that hilariously fall apart and the two youngsters who are expecting a large paper bag to hide a monster inside of it.

But of course, no one will neglect the novel spirit that was depicted by the story when the friendship of Simon and Joe was put to test. Eager to prove his skill as a Little Leaguer, Simon had powerfully thrust a foul ball that accidentally hits the mother of Joe, which killed her immediately. This instance leaded the two boys to earnestly find out the true father of Joe. As they succeeded, one situation arises that calls for a hero—a small hero.

Simon is convinced, right from the start of the story, that he is intended to become “God’s instrument,” a small being that is fated to become a hero someday. His belief was fulfilled and he was able to show that courage is more important than size. However, his fulfillment was followed by a tear-jerking deathbed scene.

Johnson ended the film beautifully with a mature Joe, played by Jim Carrey, standing before the tomb of his old best friend, convinced that truly “God has a plan for everyone,” the faith that is untiringly being confessed by Simon all throughout the story.

Simon Birch is an exceptional and brilliant testament to the resilience and ardor of faith. The movie truthfully serves as an inspiration to people from all walks of life.

Goodness Always Surpasses Evil

2009-09-29T01:44:00.000-07:00

Pathetic people stuck in their house’s roof in the middle of chocolate-colored flood, shivering in coldness and crying in despair…a number of weary faces who have lost their means to go home…and an increasing number of casualties who have lost their lives in a violent way. These are all the usual views featured in the Philippine’s news for the past three days.

Again, another typhoon had landed in the country to destroy great amounts of properties and to snatch numerous lives. The sights are too heart-wrenching. Just one look at the victims and I can clearly recall the same thing that we experienced three years ago, during the typhoon Reming—same struggles and same agonies.

Evil happens. Certainly, it does. But fretting and sorrow should not dominate, because goodness always surpasses evil.

For another time, God had set the typhoon to rage during daytime—allowing people to vacate their flooded areas without groping in the dark—without risking their safety to an unseen path. God’s mercy is displayed visibly again.

Miserable people, yeah! It is shown every time in the news. But these miserable conditions gave way to showcase to many eyes many heroic acts once again: fellows exposing themselves more in cold, dirty, and deep flood to help their stuck neighbors; rescuers risking their safety to save another life; and giving out donations despite of near nothingness of some.

The goodness in the heart of the people and the magnificence of our great God to unite people, these are the truth that lies behind the heart-wrenching views in the news today. This simply marks that beauty can still be found even in the most grotesque picture.

My Thoughts on Things

2009-03-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Time, in this very time-demanding world, is the greatest expression of love.

Who I am before the eyes of my Master matters more than who I am before the eyes of anyone else.

What truly matters at the end of the day is not how much we earn for a living or how high is our position in the company we are working for but how we stand before the Lord.

We, humans, are perfectly imperfect for perfection belongs solely to God.

I’ll Find You My Dear Little One

2009-03-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

This is the fifth day since my kitten was lost outside. I settled on the thought that maybe somebody has tamed it already to make myself feel fine. But awhile ago, we heard it crying—I clearly know it’s voice. The fact that it responded to our call made me certain that it’s my missing kitten.

We tried to search it, but it’s on top of the roof of our neighbor that we couldn’t easily reach out for it. At times, it’s voice disappears in the darkness. Now, my heart is being pierced while I am here in my home-office at 12.34 a.m. and listening to its sudden fainting cry. I can hardly imagine the condition of my little one this time. I wonder if it was able to eat for the past five days or did it only settle in drinking the water brought by the rain? Is it sheltered or is it shaking in coldness outside? Is it safe from the heavy downpour or does this made it feel drowned? Is it still healthy and able to run around the house once he gets back or is it already fainting now and has an uncertain number of days left?

It’s hard when you love a thing so true and you lost it at some point without the assurance of having it back again. It has captured my heart; but this heart is now slowly being crushed by its absence. My mind is also vulnerable from torment. But my Lord is faithful; I still cling to the small embers of hope that remain in me.

Significant Stone

2009-02-21T07:06:00.001-08:00

I’m amazed as to how the Lord has made me see any form of obstacle now—not as a hindrance to my goal but as an opportunity for me to rise up!

Anyway

2009-02-20T21:11:00.000-08:00

By: Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis.
it is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

My First Blood Extraction—Cool!

2009-02-07T05:00:00.003-08:00

I’m never funny. I admit that. I always crack dull joke. In fact, the only ones who are buying my jokes are my closest friends. I don’t know why. Maybe they just know me enough. Or maybe they just feel the need to laugh anyway. (Lol! Okay, I just cracked one) Funny or not, I’ll still try to write somehow funny this time out of my dim-witted experience.

Let me start this with my awkward experience just a week ago when I had my first BLOOD EXTRACTION. I had it for a check-up but I didn’t expect it would happen that way. Gross! Had I know, I would have let anyone come with me.

I was alone then—just the woman in her white suit and me inside the laboratory. I always feel an eerie atmosphere inside a laboratory. I was only expecting her to get a drop of my blood from my finger—just that. But to my dismay, she grabbed a medium-sized injection, bundled my middle-arm, and began to snap it (I’m really not sure on the purpose of the snapping thing…maybe giving my veins some warm-up).

“Shocks!” That’s the sole word I was able to utter—numbers of times! Oh! I did try to escape. Not a total escape though, just to breathe outside and come back again after but the nurse rejected my idea. She pulled out my paper and asked how old I am. Sure, I know what she’s trying to insinuate. So sad, it’s hard to fear the needle when you are already in your 22—you just can’t runaway easily. The next thing I did was to accept that I’m old enough to fear the needle, lean back, and start drawing some figures at the ceiling while waiting for the needle to get off from the inside of my skin.

That’s the story of my first blood extraction. I think it’s cool somehow. I realized that a look at the ceiling can help me overcome some sort of physical pain. It wasn’t painful after all. Oh! By the way, I tried to look at my blood inside the tube. I guess that girl took a good amount of blood from me.But at least now I’m certain, I can’t afford to donate a bag of blood. =)

Lemon Talk

2009-02-07T05:00:00.002-08:00

If there’s one vivid thing I can remember about Diane, it would be her favorite quote that she kept on telling me during our times together:

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Well yeah, this sophisticated lady was greatly moved by this simple line. And it moved me as well. “Make something out of what we have in hands,” this is the message that I have grasped from this quote and it really inspired us during our thesis days.

Today though, I have thought of another version of this quote—call it my version. (Thanks to the freakin’ topic that was assigned for me to write today).

“When life gives you lemons, make lemon candles.” =)

Well, mine actually illustrates another thought. If the first one speaks of being contented; mine speaks of being innovative—crafting something new. Actually, the first one also speaks of being innovative—making lemonade out of lemons; but I just figured out the making lemonade can be expected to anyone who is given out with lemons—but not lemon candles—it skips conventionalism. (Oops! Do I hear a violent reaction there Big D?) Lol.

Narrowed Visions

2009-02-07T05:00:00.001-08:00

I pondered on the following thoughts weeks after I have resigned from my first work.

It was November last year when I came across with an old friend while I was applying for a new work. As what was expected, we talked lots. As fresh grads, we talk more about the “corporate world” until she was able to voice out her complains for having a low salary. Like any other average employee in the province, this friend of mine also earns P220 each day. And she told me that such amount does not really suffice to help her family. Well yes, the amount she is earning is practically enough only to singles, especially during these days when the cost of the commodities are getting more astronomical.

Then, after we departed, I began to remember the woman I was able to talk with just a month ago. Being uneducated, this woman works by cleaning used bottles, which only costs 10 cents each. Comparatively speaking, if my friend’s P220 daily earnings are not enough to sustain her family; then, how much more can this woman sustain her four-member family at the amount of 10 cents for each bottle she cleaned?

To calculate, this woman would need to clean 2,200 bottles before she can accumulate the amount of P220. And I can hardly imagine this woman to complete a detailed cleaning of 2,200 bottles in just a day using her two hands alone.

Such scenario made me look back to my past work—being a call center agent. The job that made me felt like an automated robot. I was reminded of all the complains I have heard from my workmates, which I never failed to hear even for a night— the usual agony of the call center agents, which is to receive the contempt of Whites to Asians, and to battle the body’s normal body clock: to sleep at night. The same complains I had, which I tried to keep between my best Ally and me.

Surprisingly, the array of night clubs that tower in the same place where I worked registered into my mind as well—clubs that feature women from different provinces who came there to make a living by selling their wares to foreigners. This reality is really disappointing. Then again, I’ve realized that they too do not sleep at night and it is far better to sit all night and be spurned by unseen stranger in call center rather than to work in any of these night clubs to lie beside a lascivious son of Adam.

Between call center agents and prostitutes, I would say that the latter endures a lot.

Indeed, these scenarios made me see the drawbacks of complaining—all of the wastes and burdens it cause. Yeah right, the time we start to complain is the time we also start to have a narrowed vision. By complaining, we try to focus on one angle of the frame that we neglect to see the other edges of it. More importantly, complains only limit us in so my things: to remain thankful to what was given to us more particularly. Hence, we only tend to aggravate our situation.

Now, since I’ve experience to complain for straight five months almost, I believe I have earned the right to say that we are not in the right position to complain if we have not taken the steps to make a change—to overcome or to go away from the source of our complains.

Nakakapagod din pala…

2009-02-07T04:58:00.001-08:00

…pagod na ako. Sana possibleng sa isang tao ang magbakasyon sa planet Pluto ng isang buwan—walang ibang tao, mag-isa lang, wala kahit alien.

Impossible ba? Sige kahit sa Korea na lang na kung saan sabi ng isa kong kakilala ay walang masyadong nagsasalita ng Engles. Pagtyatyagaan ko ang puro green leafy vegetable na pagkain makapag-isa lang. Walang kaibigan na kasing taas ng meteors sa universe ang ang expectations sa akin. Malayo sa desktop ko. Basta! Malayo sa lahat.

Napapagod na ata ako…gusto ko na munang magpahinga at huminga ng MALUWAAAAG na MALUWAAAAAG. In short, I need space.

Selfish? Sobra ka naman Conscience hindi naman. Hindi naman ako lalayo for life, one month lang or less pag hindi kinaya ng budget. Basta! One of these days pupunta ako sa malayong lugar kung saan ang tanging gagawin ko ay makipag-usap sa ilang estranghero…makipaglaro sa mga batang palaboy…maglakad ng maglakad…at tumambay ng mag-isa habang nag-susulat o nagbabasa o kaya naman habang pinagmamasdan ang mga tao sa paligid.

Marahil nga, mahalaga talaga sa ilang tao ang makapag-isa upang maalala nila kung sino nga ba talaga sila bago sila pilit na binabago ng sitwasyon o iniayon ng ilang tao sa pag-kataong likha ng kanilang idialismo.

Detour

2009-02-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

Plan A belongs to God.

Whew! God knows how detailed I have planned to spend this year. He knows my targets, the goals I thought I need to accomplish…everything…everything.

I was confident. I was excited. I was challenged. But when he presented to me another scheme—His scheme I believe—everything has changed. Almost everything will be modified.

The proposal of my Lord is..uhmm..somewhat tough. Oh Yes! It is! I’ve thought of that (a bit) but rejected the idea thinking that it is next to suicide (allow me to make a little exaggeration on this one). Well yeah, His proposal involves a LOOOTTT of risks. At first I was baffled (mistulang bola na drinnible-dribble). I’ve thrown Him questions and He sends His answers too—perfect answers, God can really be very precise to us whenever he wants. Oh yeah, I was not contented, I verified His answers. In fact I’m still verifying them until now, but I think I got Him so I’m doing slight plans and preparations in case he gave me a go signal. If He does, even if I’m not certain about my competency in the fight, I’ll gather every bit of courage and confidence I can gather to follow His command.

His will be done in my life not mine.

Well, I won’t detail my story this time…sleepy now. Lem’me just share the words He told me when I was in doubt:

• Get out from your box.
• You said you know your capacities. I tell you my child, I know them more.
• Do not let your limitations limit you.
• TRUST ME WHEREVER I PLACE YOU.
• You are created to become a victor not a victim.

At first, I can’t help not to figure out the possible compromise I might do—not just in money but as well as in time. I can afford to lose money but not time. And above all, I can’t afford not to make sure steps. But then, all of my doubts were erased the moment God told me trust Him. I do. And again, I was reminded of my meaning of success, it’s never defined by the magnificence before the eyes of man but the magnificence before the eyes of God.

I’m willing to take a detour whenever He says so.

My Faithful Father

2009-02-07T04:57:00.002-08:00

…Good-bye December ’08. It was a great month indeed…and it’ll always be.
I’ve too pre-occupied last month that I failed to express in my writing how the sight of lovely Christmas lights gladdens my heart again—commercialized Christmas??!! Nah! Nah! Of course it’s more than that.

Sometimes, I can’t help not to wonder why the movie “Sweet November” wasn’t made “Sweet December.” I think it’ll be a lot better hehe~

Anyway, the past year had been very meaningful to me. It was the start of MY DEEPER SPIRITUAL QUEST. Indeed, my time is in His hands and a year ago was the perfect time for my love life with my Lord to bloom. And this year will be sweeter!

My Lord is always faithful—yesterday, today, and forever—and I’ll forever be grateful for that.

THREE.THREE.THREE

2009-02-07T04:57:00.001-08:00

Three days of sickness…three days of introspection…three days of little walks…three realizations…three dear people…

I didn’t literally rest—I just walked, outside. And God and I are together, side by side.

I was so tired before I got sick. I was tired—in and out. My body is exhausted so as my soul and my spirit lacked vigor. Worldly pressures have overwhelmed me. Pressed but not crushed at least (as Kuya Eph will term it).

God perceived my exhaustion and so He gave me rest. I believe He knows that I’m starting to track the wrong way—almost near from getting astray.

Three days of introspection gave me the three keys to fulfill the must-be-fulfilled tasks (not just work of course). The Lord taught me to establish balance, focus, and discipline to myself; and above all, to observe CONSISTENCY.

Three days of little walks outside reunited me with three dear people also. One of them is a friend who I was really longing to see for two years almost; and she is an answered prayer. I just missed this friend maybe…a very real friend…and just meeting her made my sprit rejoice. I don’t know, she’s just too dear to me I guess. The other two were my mentors way back in high school—my two dear mentors. It’s so good to see them after years. We’ve had a little long exchange of dialogues, smiles, and sparkle in the eyes. (haha! That’s so cool really).

A lot more things had happened in three days rest actually. There were a lot more realizations.But my time is up! Gotta get back to work; Gotta observe BALANCE, FOCUS, and DISCIPLINE.

To sum it all up, a life under God’s care is constantly SUPERB!

My Lord is GREAT; and so I am also tracking the way next to greatness through the guidance of His hands.

[Oops! I’ve exceeded five minutes. Bye for now. =)]

*Pls. ignore if there were wrong grammars I failed to edit this hehe!

Tagalog Ito :P

2009-02-07T04:55:00.000-08:00

Bakit nga ba…

…hindi na ako nakakatungo sa may tabing dagat at makapag-masid sa lawak ng karagatan habang bitbit ang aking journal na di ko naman masulatan?

…hindi ko na ko na nalalakad ang haba ng Peñaranda Extension upang pag-masdan ang kulay dilaw na ilaw sa daan?

…hindi ko na magawang mabisita ang matalik kong kaibigan na halos isang oras lang naman ang layo sa amin?

…hindi ko na magawang makapag-isa at ma-upo ng ilang oras sa bookstore sa may BIchara habang naghahalukay ng mura at may sense na libro?

…hindi na ako madala ng aking mga paa patungo sa puntod ni Daddy at ni Papay para mabigyan sila ng update sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko at panoorin ang paglubog ng araw sa lawak ng sementeryo?

…nililimitahan ko na lang ang oras ko kapag nag-susulat ako ng ganito?

…tila may mga bagay ang dapat kong unawain ngunit di ko pa rin maunawaan?

…may mga tanong na hindi ang sarili mo ang may hawak ng kasagutan?

…nag-susulat ako nito eh may mas dapat akong matapos na trabaho?

Ah ewan. Basta ang alam ko napaka-walang kwenta ko pa ring mag-sulat gamit ang lenguaheng Tagalog wehehehe. =)

*Anyway, there’s a lot more reason to be happy than to fret.

“I still strongly believe on what is written in Ecclesiastes 3:1

September 24th

2008-09-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

I view my birthday as my celebration of life. And God made me realized that to find its true essence, its celebration should never be centered to myself but to the people I am sharing my life with.

Lorilie

2008-09-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

“Go to Paradise, where the angels need you.”

--Simon Birch

Lorilie is a very beautiful name to hear for me…it reminds me of a beautiful person…a very beautiful soul. And whenever I recall her, I can’t help not to shed a tear because this person is no longer with me now…just her memories.

It was more than a year already when she took her flight to heaven. That was summer, few weeks after my graduation in college. I was only 20 then and I am turning 22 now—quite long enough that her memories were slowly succumb by my present occupations, which I partly intended to.

But not until last night when I watched for the fourth times already her favorite movie and mine as well—Simon Birch. This story is about the child who was afflicted with Morque Syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes dwarfism. The movie pictures his strong faith for God’s special purpose for creating him that way. Lorilie almost shared the same fate with Simon; she was paralyzed due to medical malpractice. Like Simon, her physique was also too strange for others—she was so thin that her legs were unable to support her weight for so long whenever she stood up. Yet, her spirit is burning! Her faith for God was the source of her strength; very much like Simon.

Simon also had a best pal named Jo to whom he shared his life with. The story of their friendship, I say, is somehow similar to Lorilie and mine. Despite of our difference, we were able to do a lot of things together. We just don’t play scrabble and spend long hours for movies and talks; we also play with their dogs. Yes, she summoned them and I will run around after. That was cool! But those were the old days.

Every story has an end; and ours had it already.

I never thought that the ending of the movie we’ve loved the most will also be the same ending of our story. Simon was pathetically lying in bed in sickness; so was Lorilie. Jo was waiting for Simon to wake up; so did I.

I can still clearly recall how desperately I wished for her to open her eyes and see me. But they remained closed for hours of my sit beside her. I wanted to know if she had been hearing all of what I’m saying. But unlike Jo, I never heard Lorilie speak to me again neither her eyes to see me. I just heard her mumbled my name twice…just that; but I treasure that moment a lot. I have seen how she struggled to mention my one syllable name; one of the very few words she mentioned in the last hours of her life. Maybe, that is the purpose of God for giving me a very short name—for that specific moment.

Last night, while I was watching the movie again, all of her memories came rushing into my mind—all of the great times we had together including the pains of saying good-bye. I was crying again; but this time, not because of the movie but because of the person it reminds me. Simon brought back the memories of my dearest friend, Lorilie. They two are perfectly the same—in courage, gentleness, love, and faith. I miss my friend; my loving and selfless friend. God knows how grateful I am for having such a beautiful soul as part of my life.

Yeah, like Simon, she was also created by God in that way for His special purpose. To give her the whole time to pour out her love to people around her, even to those who seem to be unlovable; and to use her listening and empathic heart to mend pained individuals.

Lorilie’s life was a blessing indeed—both on earth and certainly up there in Paradise.

Fire and Beauty

2008-09-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

"Like a sunflower that follows every movement of the sun, so I turn towards You to follow You my God."

*Whenever I see sunflowers, I always see happiness. =)

Fire and Beauty, that is why.

A Letter to Myself

2008-09-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I’m here again; allowing my hands to dance freely over my PC’s keyboard to put my thoughts into words. This time I am rushing nothing. Whew! What a week.

I’m feeling heavy…yet light (Oh! Ruthie dear you are writing with your emotions again). Well, I’ll just violate my rule; I just need to let this feeling out. Somehow, while I am writing I can also think. I can listen to myself more; and I really need to listen to myself this time.

Okay, I am feeling heavy because I feel like I am wandering but I am also feeling light because somehow I’m getting the view as to where I will go; makes sense? No. Only I can understand. I made a mess. But I prayed for everything, God knows. Maybe I just didn’t listen to His answers (Didn’t I? Or have I just misunderstood them?) He knows the answer more than I do. Anyhow, I know, I just did what I think is right.

Alright, I’m back to the beginning but wiser at this time. I have lost my two weeks. But its okay, I really can’t sacrifice the good of tomorrow for the promise of today. That’s my rule which I can’t violate. Two weeks of roller coaster ride almost made me faint now. But yeah, thanks for this roller coaster ride. It’s terribly awesome; it taught me a lot about myself and my objective. Well, I believe the ride isn’t over yet; and I think I would love to stay in this ride. You know, just when the roller coaster went down doesn’t mean the thrill is over. So as to my story, losing the ink of my pen doesn’t mean I can no longer pursue on writing it. I still have my pencil, my crayons, or my mopit and baktsap (duno if I spelled them right but that’s what we use as pen and ink way back in elementary in our Chinese subject). Meaning, I still do not lose the alternatives. God constantly provide the alternatives, I believe. Heck! I don’t believe life offers no choice. (Oops! Did I sound violent? lol )

Heaven, thanks. The fact that I am still sane now proves that I should really be thankful. Just kidding! There’s no sense in losing my sanity of course. If I want to fulfill my goal then I have to break the bricks and keep myself from moving on. Sorry, regret is the last thing on my list.
I am more precise to what I want this time. But of course, I’m reserving a big allowance for His will. His will not and my will be done.

…now I am feeling lighter…nothing is ever wasted.

September, sure you will be lovely. =)

“A Thank You”

2008-09-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

God gave man two roads to travel;
treachery…
A road of flowers and blooms…
like the Garden of Eden;
And a road of nothing but dust…
like a dying desert.
Those who aren’t brave enough; they were gifted with choice;
they take the blooms…
lavishing themselves with the luring colors and blooms.
They never get the chance to be held by God
for they were all drowning from their pleasant choice of life;
usually, they forget
These are the weak, they never suffer.
They say the words “Thank You”; a form of expression
because they are blessed.
And God expects them to do so…
Now, those; the braves; sometimes, it’s
not a choice…
Mostly, it’s God’s given.
He will put him in that dying road; no choices!
The brave usually asks God from his first step of the road
“Why me, dear Lord?”
Then from the gate God would just smile.
So, the brave though puzzled, still would take the
road…
From half of a mile he’s thirsty, but God preferred to place the stream
two miles of the road…
So, the brave would take more miles just to drink.
Now, the stream, pure water, free flowing
He’d quench his thirst; then, he would
Thank God, meaning it so.
A walk away from the stream, the brave
would stumble…
With his hungry face, he would look up and says:
“What now?”
Then, God would tell him, “The food was in
the first mile of your road…”
So, the brave would go back, fetching enough water
to drink in his way back.
But he’d be complaining; still God would
stay silent
Then, on his way back, he’d always meet one brave
man too…
Both thirsty, they shall share the water
and go back to have enough food
in continuing their track.
Then, the first brave man shall fall a mile
before the road ends;
not from thirst nor from hunger but from his exhausted soul
…almost giving up.
And he’d usually ask…
“Why me God, why these?”
But the second man would hold him up and
helps him with the remaining steps.
Now, near the end, the first brave man shall recover;
The second one would fall.
From afar are tempting scenes of rejoices,
revelations, foods, and wines…
But the braves should always make
The right thing to do; so, he would held his hand and
help him to the feast.
From the revelation, God shall take the braves
by their hands…
And now God would answer;
“Because both of you are very blessed that’s why I put
You into this road…”
Then, of course, the brave man shall say “Thank You.”
So, you and I would say, “Thank You God.”
And we mean it so.
(The End)

Sunscreen

2008-09-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

“We only have a lifetime to live…

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
By: Buz Luhrmann

Listen to itLadies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. Thelong term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas therest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meanderingexperience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh, never mind; you will notunderstand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trustme, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way youcan’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous youreally looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effectiveas trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troublesin your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; thekind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who arereckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’rebehind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed indoing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…themost interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do withtheir lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe youwon’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken onyour 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourselftoo much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so areeverybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid ofit, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll everown.
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the peoplemost likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should holdon. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the olderyou get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live inNorthern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians willphilander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that whenyou were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and childrenrespected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybeyou have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past fromthe disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more thanit’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…

…so try not to stress out yourself in this perfectly imperfect world.”

Bikolanos Bothered by Recurring Earthquakes

2008-08-21T03:36:00.000-07:00

Oops! I am not writing a news story here (lol)…

For the past days, the ground of Bicol is often grooving. The last time the ground quivered was last night although it was only light. I wonder what is happening below. Maybe some things were misaligned down there and God is only fixing them. Or maybe the Earth is simply restructuring its down surface, why not?

People are obviously disturbed by the recurring occurrence of earthquake. Sure, it’s understandable; no one would love the sight of a shaking ground. Plus the fact that Bicol is a Peninsula, the possibility of tsunami is really threatening. Paranoia is yet inescapable at this time, especially when the trauma caused by typhoon “Reming” remained unhealed.

But lo! The feeling of fear won’t cause anything good. This will only enlarge the eye bags for a peaceful sleep is unattainable when one is troubled. Analyze it; threat only arises when we think of the possibility of disaster. The more people exaggerate things, the more they panic. That’s unlikely. Just like what happened last Friday, when earthquake was recorded with a 5.1 magnitude (it caused me a short headache); people ran into different directions, never knowing where to run to. Of course, when strong earthquake strikes no room is safe for shelter. Uhmmm…except for a finely constructed edifice; the one that has spring on its ground.

Good thing, Kuya Jad is around that Friday, the person who has a gifted reason. He said calmly, “Why panic just look at those trees, swaying along with the movement of the earth.” Yeah, the trees seemingly jive on the rhythm created by small raindrops. It’s fantastic to see how nature moves. Unfortunately, this sight is not visible in the eyes of those who fear—the glamour behind the grotesque picture.

Friendship Award from Halley

2008-04-04T17:41:00.000-07:00

My friend has given me a Friendship Award [touch]. Cosmic gratitude Halley!

I raise the glory to our Divine Majesty!

I would also like to give this Friendship Award to the following persons: Arcee, Alvin, Ate Precy, Irena, and Ate Marianne.

An Oath Stated in a Song

2008-03-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Testify to Love
by Avalon

All the colors of the rainbow
All of voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the Hope in every heart will speak what love has done

Mercy Killing of Oneself

2008-02-27T23:29:00.000-08:00

I say, the modest way to commit suicide is to be a religious eater of instant foods.

This thought was formed in my mind since I started working as a call center agent. Because of the body’s cravings for rest, the agents opted for more convenient alternative for meals.

The menu: in can corned beef, meat loaf, sausage, tuna—afritada, mechado, tuna flakes, caldereta, adobo and hot spicy—name it, we know it, not just the name alone but the taste in particular. Of course, the menu will never be completed without instant noodles—pancit canton, spaghetti, sotanghon, etc.

Those are the usual meals of my colleagues and I shared the same meal for quite sometime. Until I realized that I’m becoming merciless to my body. My good health is gradually being annihilated with my own accord. So I detached myself from the habit. It’s a tough thing; almost every food that is being sold in the grocery store is instant. Every food includes preservatives. Too bad, following a healthy diet can really be time consuming. One needs to invest time to cook the raw ingredients.

Anyhow, I figured out yesterday a better and faster way to mercy kill oneself. I ate noodles for lunch because I’ll be late for work if I still eat at the canteen outside the office. Alone at the pantry, I was waiting for the cup noodles to simmer for about 4-5 minutes. I figured out that if one is really exited to die, he can achieve a worse result from these instant foods, noodles in particular, by simply not following the instructions indicated at the processed food. If it requires to be stewed for 5 minutes with hot water, then just pour on some hot water and eat it. The preservatives here are still very fresh--too bad for the health.

Of course, I didn’t do it. I am not DUMB. In fact, I let the noodles simmer for more than five minutes. But it still tastes like plastic.

The Torrential Downpour is Alarming the People

2008-02-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

The rain is still bursting outside…

The city is inundated with water already. It appears like a lake, a polluted lake. The situation is alarming. The sight awhile ago was scary, really. People were in panic. I saw myself gliding my feet in the flood so as not to lose my balance. The last time that I experienced this was last year of 2006, after the typhoon Reming, the typhoon that left Bicol as a wasteland. Now, it’s the La Niña that threatens.

This is said to be the fifth day since the torrential downpour started. The sky is in rage for five days now. How I miss the sunlight. Sunflowers, you have the right time to bloom.

The rain does not stop still…

I was paranoid for a moment but God’s word comforted me. I was reminded of the covenant He made stated in Gen 8:11. “I promise that never again will all living beings be destroyed by a flood; never again will a flood destroy the earth.” It’s when He made the rainbow as a reminder of His covenant.

Anyhow, I do trust the words of the Lord.

The province is declared as in the state of calamity. My response is the song by Reuben Morgan, “Still.”

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are god

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Eureka!

2008-02-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

I have always view blogging as my personal hobby. I’m just fond of blogging my realizations out of my personal living, my observation in the society, and others. Until a friend persuaded me to join her so-called “monetize in blogging.” I became interested on this after I visited the site of blogsvertise

Blogsvertise creates an opportunity to the online bloggers to generate an income from their blogs. How? By simply writing ads on their blogsite. The bloggers will only write an entry on their blogsite with regards to the internet advertiser. It can be in the form of review or compliment, it depends on the blogger. I think this is cool. Enjoying writing and earning at the same time. The details are mentioned on the site of blogsvertise, you may check it out if it also stirs your interest.

It's the "waterfowl" I admired

2008-02-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

By: William Cullen Bryant

'midst falling dew,
While glow the heavens with the last ,
Far, through their rosy depths, dost pursue
Thy solitary way?

Vainly the fowler's eye
Might mark thy distant flight to do thee wrong,
As, darkly painted on the crimson sky,
Thy figure floats along.

Seek'st thou the plashy brink
Of weedy lake, or marge of river wide,
Or where the rocking billows rise and sink
On the chafed ocean side?

There is a Power whose care
Teaches thy way along that pathless coast,--
The desert and illimitable air,--
Lone wandering, but not lost.

All day thy wings have fann'd
At that far height, the cold thin atmosphere:
Yet stoop not, weary, to the welcome land,
Though the dark night is near.

And soon that toil shall end,
Soon shalt thou find a summer home, and rest,
And scream among thy fellows; reeds shall bend
Soon o'er thy sheltered nest.

Thou'rt gone, the abyss of heaven
Hath swallowed up thy form; yet, on my heart
Deeply hath sunk the lesson thou hast given,
And shall not soon depart.

He, who, from zone to zone,
Guides through the boundless sky thy certain flight,
In the long way that I must tread alone,
Will lead my steps aright.

Eureka!

2008-02-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

I have always view blogging as my personal hobby. I’m just fond of blogging my realizations out of my personal living, my observation in the society, and others. Until a friend persuaded me to join her so-called “monetize in blogging.” I became interested on this after I visited the site of blogvertise.

Blogvertisecreates an opportunity to the online bloggers to generate an income from their blogs. How? By simply writing ads on their blogsite. The bloggers will only write an entry on their blogsite with regards to the internet advertiser. It can be in the form of review or compliment, it depends on the blogger. I think this is cool. Enjoying writing and earning at the same time. The details are mentioned on the site of blogvertise you may check it out if it also stirs your interest.

My Modest Ingredients of Happiness

2008-01-29T18:27:00.000-08:00

The word “happy” rooted from the word “happenstance,” this means “a chance happening.” Therefore, happiness depends on happenings.

The following are some of my modest ingredients of happiness: the glittering stars that hang at the night sky; a walk along the seashore with a friend; an hour or more conversation with friends; a good book; a ride on a bike; playing with my cats; a road trip with Arcee and Excelsis; a long walk with my bestfriend Jen; the laughters of my dear cousins; sunrise and sunset watching; and a moment with God.

Maybe it will not be hard for one to be happy if one will see the essence of small things. Just exactly the way kids do. Small things do count indeed. A day can be completed by one precious moment, or maybe by just a momentous minute. It does not mean that we, grown-ups, need to put away childish things already just because we consider ourselves as adults. We can still keep with us a heart similar to a child that can lavishjoy out of simple things. If that happen, then, to be happy is not a hard thing to do.

I perceive then that happiness lies in our own hands. It is we who decide whether to be happy or not. We are the ones who choose whether to feel better or bitter. The way we see things do manifest in our life.

So then, let us strive to be happy in each day of our lives.

Seeing Problems in Different Perspective

2008-01-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

It was a week ago when I was trying to decipher the perfect words I can share to a friend who is meeting a number of problems lately. Knowing that he has his God I feel so certain that he is fine despite of everything. As a friend, I think I still have a responsibility to do something. So I still tried to grope for the most comforting words, but failed to find one. Everything I have thought of sounds a cliché.

For two days I felt a bit uncomfortable with this thought. But last night Thursday, God showed me a meaningful realization.

Isn’t true that whenever we hear the word “problem” we immediately think of a burden, a difficulty? The word sounds so negative that it sounds directly synonymous to persecution. That’s how I exactly perceive it before. But last Thursday night, when I attended a Bible study, I found the perfect words for my friend. It didn’t come literal. His message was unveiled to me in Philippians 4.

He made me realized that a problem is a form of His blessing. So, the more problems we have the more we are blessed. It may sound so odd at first but if one will look at it in that way he will see the essence. The more we have problems, the more we tend to chase Him. He wants us to get closer to Him. He wants us to grow. He wants us to be more faithful to Him. And if we think we are really that faithful enough, He only wants to prove to the enemy that despite of every misfortune we, as His child, will be as faithful as ever.

The more we chase Him through our prayers the more He will love us. And He will show His love through the favors He will give. In the end, we will triumph to see the greatness of this blessing.

My faithful friend surely knows this, even before. And maybe God just wants me to know the same thing too. Anyhow, my friend received God’s favor last night, proof that He moves in our every trouble.

Now I feel renewed.

I was Tagged by my TL

2008-01-24T16:47:00.000-08:00

My first time to be tagged. And it looks really cool. Thanks ate Nays hehe! I just hope I will not be tagged on the hard ones. :)

5 Things Found in my Bag

wallet
cp
Notebook/Journal
ballpen
eyeglasses

5 Things Found in my Wallet

Picture of my mother and me.
money
A5 Calendar
ATM cards
small keys

5 Things Found in my Room

Medium size pillows
study table
My journals and collected photos
My favorite blanket that reminds me of Christmas season.
My read, half-read and unread books

5 Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do

Travel
Drive a bike with a friend
To master martial arts with Tet, Jerm and Arcee
talk with people of various races and beliefs
Spend a moment with good friends

5 Things I am Currently Into

Seeking the face of God
Immortalizing wonderful moments in my journal
Saving money for laptop.
Practicing self-discipline
Self-studying Chinese language

5 People to Tag on this Meme

The tale of NSTP Files logo

2008-01-18T23:37:00.001-08:00

Colorful.

That is usually the reaction when one sees the NSTP Files icon. Why is that so? That would probably the first question. But every person who sees it without having deeper thought would never see the real beauty and essence behind this colorful image.

This four-pointed box containing a colorful pencil illustrates in a very simple and compact detail the true spirit of NSTP Files—youthful, powerful, courageous, sharp, and intellectual.

The youths are symbolized by the different circle colors in the image. Each of these colors represents one distinct character that youths posses. Red is their aggressiveness. Orange is simply their being young. Pink is youths’ subtle yet kind hearts. Purple is their feeling of reverence. Green is their innocence and blue represents their bright minds.

The pointed-down pencil symbolizes youth’s courageous spirits. It also means their being very enthusiastic to express their views as well as their readiness for any battle. The pencil’s eraser tells about humility of accepting their faults and their willingness to always do something to correct theses mistakes.

The white light illuminating at the back of this pencil symbolizes the youths’ potential capabilities that are partly hiding and just starting to be discovered. All these hidden potentials are expressed through the use of pen.

Meanwhile,the black background is chosen for two reasons. One is to provide emphasis for the white back light. The other is to convey mystery. Black also means youths enigmatic character. One cannot tell what they can do. No one can ever see the limitation of their capabilities. You will just be surprised with what they can do. Just look at the creation of this magazine. The realization of this publication is a very good example and proof of their being enigmatic.

This magazine for the youth are made by the youth. It’s not just as simple as that since the magazine is created for one of the most precious sectors of the society—for the youth, by the youth. The logo says it all.

Great thoughts from young minds.

Gossip Addicts

2008-01-10T17:19:00.000-08:00

Gossip Addicts

One night while my mother and I were talking, my sister dashed a surprising entrance. She was bursting with tears that my mother and I were left speechless. She can hardly breathe as she sobs. My mother asked her why. I just smiled when I heard her answer.

My sister was a victim of gossip addicts.

These gossip addicts are our very concern neighbors or colleagues. They concern a lot that they have so much excitement in making us the center of their conversations. And for always, they are concern to everyone. Their concern is not touching though, it is annoying. These gossip addicts are just fond of criticizing. They don’t really think before they speak. They react out of their impulse. They judge according to what is only visible in their eyes.

Gossip addicts feast when someone in the community gets pregnant without a husband. They feast when a married woman was seen with a company of another man. Allow me to make an exaggeration; these gossip addicts seem to chatter from the moment they were conceived in their mother’s womb. Their expertise lies in creating and aggravating somebody else’s problem. They never dare offer a solution.

Anyway, would you like to know what they said about my sister? (I hope I wouldn't get yes for an answer).

The lonesome lovebird would have died happy

2007-12-27T23:16:00.000-08:00

The lovebird’s cage is still there when I returned home. But I only saw our two hamsters, Hamham and Mocha, occupying and enjoying the bigger space. It was a horrible scene knowing that here’s a cage and there are two kinds of animals living in there—a bird and two rodents. Just imagine what will happen to the bird with those two predators. The advantage, on the other hand, is on the hamsters. They surely had a good dinner out of the lovebird. However, that wasn’t the case. Though I really imagined that scene so many times, that really did not happen. Only the two hamsters reside in the cage. The lovebird was gone. He was neither on his meal container nor in his small house.

I thought my sister just made use of the former hamsters’ cage as the new lovebird house. In fact, we had a plan to move the hamsters to bigger space. They need it since they also get bigger and bigger. Considering that the lovebird is now alone in the big cage, maybe my sister just moved him in the smaller cage. But it wasn’t the case either.

Finally, my sister revealed that the lovebird died. She just found him lying on the cage floor. She even talked to him thinking that he was just peacefully sleeping. But he never moved a muscle. She opened the cage and held the bird but he was as weak as a rotten vegetable. That was when my sister realized that he is already dead.

The saddest fact is that the lovebird died the day I left for a short vacation. But the good thing is that I got to talk with him before he left.

The lovebird’s story must be told. He’s not just a simple animal. He made me realize a lot of truth that we usually ignore like the fact that animals have also emotions. Animals also feel the depressing pain when they are left alone. Lovebirds prove the literal meaning of dying when the half of your self left you. And also, the sad fact that, at times, you are just caged in and denied of your chance to freely find that someone who accidentally left you, that one who makes you whole, and that one who makes you feel your existence.

I feel so sorry for the lovebird. There are some regrets in me. I could have helped him escape the cage and give him the chance of finding his pair instead of just feeding him with necessary materials for his everyday survival.

I can still clearly remember how he tried a hundred times to get out of the cage. Escaping that big cage is nearly impossible with all his given abilities and potential. Maybe he died with frustration not getting out of the cage. If he only managed to escape from the cage, the lovebird would have died happy knowing that he is trying to find his lost pair. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Instead, he died trying to make it through the strong cage—still struggling for freedom.

Lovebird without his pair

2007-12-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

We have a pair of love birds. They say that kind of bird is called that way because one cannot live without the other pair. When one love bird died or flew away, the left love bird will surely die of loneliness. I don’t know if that is true but I guess I’m starting to believe that seems-like-a-myth theory.

Few days ago, one of our love birds flew away leaving his pair alone in their cage. The love bird got the chance to leave when our dog accidentally pushed their cage down, opening the door and giving them access to fly. Unfortunately, the other love bird was not able to fly with his pair. And so, he’s now many days enjoying the amenities of the cage—all alone.

We are very worried that the left love bird would eventually die because he stayed in his home-like play thing inside the cage. He did not eat nor drink water. He just stayed in there without even moving. We though he died right away. But after almost a day, he started to get out of the tiny house. He also started to chirp, move, and fly in that limited cage space. I wonder if he misses his other pair. Maybe he enjoys the company of our two hamsters in a separate cage. But there’s something I’m very much worried about the love bird.

Just this morning, I noticed that the bird’s left leg is broken. The wound on his leg gives him a hard time walking. He can still walk with the right leg. It’s just that he can’t step on his left leg.

He was aiming the top of the cage using only his right leg. He used his beak as support. When he successfully reached the top, he tried to fly. The wings moved but he fell like a stone falling from a building. He did the same thing again and fell again. Maybe he thought that it’s worthless to fly with a broken leg and so, he just rested on the cage floor and ate some seeds.

After few hours, the bird was already sleeping in their empty meal container. He stood with his two legs. His eyes are closed. His head is resting on his back. I don’t know how he does that but that sleeping position was really amazing. He can sleep with his head lying on his back by twisting his neck back. I remembered when his pair was still in the cage. They are sleeping like hugging each other. The head of the other rests on the shoulder of the other. They look so sweet. Maybe, the lovebird misses his pair and pretends that his back is his pair’s back.

It’s a sad fact though, but I don’t think that his pair would return in that cage to accompany him. Maybe his pair is willing to return but his intelligence hinder her to do that. Maybe if we’ll buy another love bird for him, he would feel better and maybe, just maybe, he would live longer.

How I wish our hamsters are enough for the lovebird to survive the everyday challenge to live without a pair. But it seems like impossible. Our lovebird is dying. Maybe the old folks are right about the love bird without a pair. Maybe he would die few days from now. That’s a sad thing. Loneliness can really kill.

A Poem Shared by a Special Friend..and which I have loved

2007-11-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

It's In The Valleys I Grow
By: Jane Eggleston

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

Never too late to change mind

2007-11-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of graduates who were covered by their idealism—idealism in a sense that they would still pursue finding jobs related to their finished courses. But after few months, or years, of finding their preferred jobs, they give up their idealisms and chose to have anything that will suffice their need to live. Sad to say, after a while of staying in that kind of job, these people feel certain emptiness within themselves. They soon realize that they were wrong in choosing the path they are walking. At this moment, they have only two options: continue walking their chosen roads or redirect their lives. I know it is hard to choose between the two choices. I’m certain of it because I’ve been there.

I consider myself lucky enough to find jobs within few months after graduation. It was a happy thought that my name is not included in the list of unemployed citizens. I was also very excited since I can start saving money to pursue my greater plans.

I was employed to a profession very different from what I’ve studied for in my four years in college. But I still found bliss in that job. I was able to buy my Mama a lotion, which I cannot afford when I was still a student. The job was also a big help for my sister making it through her weekly schooling. I was also able to spend for some halo-halo, some jeans, some shirts, some loads, and some books. All these were very hard to achieve during my college years. However, there comes a point that I was not happy with anything in exchange of my time spent in the office. I was fed up, maybe bored, maybe burnt out. The reason of my unhappiness was vague. I don’t know why. Only one thing is assured: I wasn’t happy of the work and I want to be out of it in any way possible.

Choosing to continue working in there was a real tempt with a good compensation it offers. The only problem is that, I can’t go on doing the same thing over and over again when I know that there are better options available. I feel like having a dried brain in that kind of profession. I wanted to pursue my idealism though it only promises half of the compensation from my former job.

So, when I already made up my mind, I submitted resignation letter and left the high-paying job. It’s kinda weird but I felt a real good relief with what I did. I’m certain of it now. I really want to quit the job and find the job that won’t require me working for the rest of my life.

I chose to redirect my life. I knew it wasn’t too late to change my mind because it’s never too late for change. I know that it will be very hard for me at the start, but it’s a good choice over the lotion, over the higher allowance, or over stylish jeans and shirts. I chose life and real living, not mere and superficial want for more compensation. I chose real happiness. And I know that I’m happy now with this. That happiness cannot be easily bought with a good compensation.

The Unique Rose

2007-11-16T22:26:00.000-08:00

My Mama is fond of plants. She has a green thumb and she can make plants grow beautifully.

A few years later, she became a cactus addict. Our yard was almost full of different cactus species. There are those big cactuses and there are those so cute cactuses. But Mama was fed up taking care of those cacti. There are actually a lot of factors that affects the lost of cactus traces in our yard. Well, I almost hardly remember how and when those cacti died. I just woke up one day and Mama had a new plant addiction. This time, it’s roses.

She planted different kinds of roses in our yard. There are those common roses with smaller petals but grow larger in diameter than the American rose. She also has American roses that are really huge when they bloom. She also has roses I call Rosita because of their tiny size. Mama’s rose collection also differs in colours. There are the famous red roses, the sweet pink roses, the fresh yellow roses, and the funky orange roses. These roses don’t bloom at the same time so you can’t really see the different rose colours in the yard.

With these so many beautiful roses in Mama’s yard, there is one rose that she treasures most. It grows into a smaller red rose. Its redness is not that bloody or romantic red. It’s a different red with its brighter red colour and livelier hue. One can say that the rose’s redness is a happy red.

That rose is actually the only flower blooming in Mama’s yard. It stands out from the rest of the plant since it’s the only deviating colour from the mostly green plants. I don’t know what’s so special with that rose and why Mama takes care of it a lot.

That rose is the one bought by Papa on her 41^st birthday. Maybe, that explains everything.